Answering machines
by feltongurl
Summary: Okaaay, this is what the Harry potter people would put in their answering machines if they had, which would probably happen when Neptune comes crashing here. LOL. Anyway, this is a ficcie, so don't throw tomatoes at me or anything, okay? A bit corny like


DISCLAMER- None of the characters belong to me, they belong to JK Rowling. The only things that belong to me are the plot and the idiotic things they do.  
  
  
  
HARRY- Hello-shut up, Dudley!-I'm not home right now-What?-so please leave a messargh Aaargh! *coughs* Yes, Uncle Vernon I told him to shut up, but only because he was being too noisy- So please leave a message after the beep-BEEP!- Oh, not now, that was the beeping of their car- And I'll call you back- If I get the chance- Wait, Uncle Vernon! I'm coming! Wait! *VROOOM!(car rushing away) * damn. .  
  
BEEP.  
  
RON- Hello, err…I'm not home…actually I am, but when you call I won't be…oohhh- hey Dad, what's this little red button for? What happens if I press it?  
  
BEEP.  
  
HERMIONE- Hello, this is the Granger residence. We can't come to the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. We'll try to call you back when we can. If this is Viktor, I'm coming already, honey! -Yes Mum, I brushed my teeth already- Oh, nothing, well, thanks anyway.  
  
BEEP.  
  
DRACO- You have reached the Malfoy Manor. Sorry, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Either father's at a Ministry meeting, I'm at my er…ballroom dancing lesson, and Mother's off to the Witches Weekly meeting. Please leave a message after the beep, and we'll send an owl. If this is Pansy, get off my ass!  
  
BEEP.  
  
LUCIUS- Good day. We are unable to come to the phone right now, because we don't do with this kind of thing. Please send an owl instead. Thank you.  
  
1 BEEP.  
  
2  
  
3 DRACO- Please, that man wasn't my father. What, father? Nothing! I said er…Weasleys stinl. I mean, are lower than we are. Phew! *sighs* Oh, what the heck-  
  
4  
  
5 BEEP.  
  
6  
  
7 SEAMUS- Hello, this is the Finnigan residence. Dad can't come to the phone right now, and neither can me Mam since she doesn't know how. Nothing, Mam! So, please leave a message after the beep, and we'll try to contact you again. Thank you. What the- why's the phone-  
  
8  
  
9 BOOM.  
  
SEVERUS- Good day, you have reached the Muggle –eurgh- answering machine of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We cannot come to the –er- phone at the moment, so please leave a message if you wish, after the long tone. Thank you.  
  
Minerva, what kind of device is this? Need we have this in the school? Oh…I forgot to press the little button…did it err…record everything? Damned thing.  
  
BEEP.  
  
NEVILLE- Good morning, oh good afternoon, sorry. You have come to the abode of the Longbottoms. Please leave a message after the beep…err…and we'll call you back somehow, when we get the idea on how to work this…masheen. Thank you!  
  
BEEP.  
  
HARRY-Hello…this is me again. You don't have to use this thing, because I'm stuck here at home, and I can talk. And if this is Ron, don't shout, okay? Dudley just boxed my ears…  
  
10  
  
BEEP.  
  
KRUM- Hello. This is Viktor Krum. Ve are unable to come to the ….phone at the moment so please leave a message after the beep and ve vill call you as soon as ve can. If this is Hermion-ninny, I am coming. Thank you.  
  
BEEP.  
  
FLEUR- Ello, Zees ees ze Delacour Reseedans. We are nowt available at ze moment. Aftair ze long tong, leave a message, Sil vous plait? Ahnd we will return your call. Merci.  
  
BEEP.  
  
GINNY- Hello, you have reached the Potter residence, Ginny Potter here. Nothing, Ron! Er…please leave a message after the beep, and Harry and I will get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you. Nothing, Ron!  
  
BEEP.  
  
Hello, Ginny, this is Harry. Nice message. Please tell Ron to call me, since I'm sure he knows how to use a phone now.  
  
COLIN- Hello, this is the Creevey residence. We can't come to the phone right now, especially me. I attend a wizard's school all year long, you know! So if you wish to leave a message, you can do so after the beep.  
  
BEEP.  
  
LOCKHART- Hello. I'm using a phone! I'm a Proffessor, by the way. And a friend of mine has a sword with loads of glittery stones. Interesting, isn't it?  
  
BEEP.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
11 


End file.
